I hope nobody needs to read this, but if you do – I hope this helps you find a reason why you should stay. It’s the holiday season which can be very cheerful or painfully lonely. Family drama, broken relationships, non-existent relationships – it all comes to the forefront. Everyone’s social media is flooded with their highlights, things you yearn for but don’t currently have. Or perhaps it’s relationships and life’s milestones you thought you would have reached by now. It can be a painful reminder of everything that has yet to happen to you.
This year has been amazing for me. I’ve had lots of adventures, lots of happy memories. But a few days ago, when I watched A Christmas Carol, one of the final scenes really triggered me. Spoiler Alert! When Scrooge wakes up on Christmas morning, he rejoices and shouts “I’m still here!”. I remember the first time I saw it in 2009 and thought oh how I’d like to have that much joy about being alive. I rewatched that movie almost every year to try and remind myself of that feeling.
My Life Wasn’t Always an Adventure
I can’t speak on depression that’s caused by chemical imbalances and I am self-diagnosed, but for many, many years of my life, I really struggled finding reasons to stay. Despite being a Christian, I often wished it could all end so I could just go be with Jesus. I still believed that God had a plan for my life, I just didn’t necessarily believe it was going to be worth it. Knowing God and how He wants the best for us, that’s a really sad mentality to look back on. And that’s exactly what I can speak of – depression caused by a negative mindset. Sure, it wasn’t all in my head that I felt unloved and worthless. A lot of it was influenced by relationships I had in my life. Imagine someone constantly telling you they’ve hated you since the day you were born – it will undoubtedly affect how you view yourself. It will at least affect how you think others view you.
Milestones Didn’t Change My Mindset
Then I thought I was on the right track to finding happiness the first time I fell in love. I fell so deeply and so hard, yet I was still miserable. I still felt worthless and like a burden. That might have to do something with being disrespected and treated awfully in that relationship. However, to me at the time, it seemed that even being in love wasn’t worth sticking around for. I was supposedly at the happiest part of my life, but I was so depressed behind closed doors.
How Counselling Changed My Life
When that relationship ended, I felt the most broken I ever had in my life. But to end that relationship, I had to conclude that I deserved better. Once I did, it was like a switch went on in my mind. I finally believed that I deserved good things in life. I believed that I deserved to be respected, to be treated with love and care. While going to counselling and unpacking all the trauma of those past few years, I managed to unpack the heaviest of my experiences and come out stronger. That realisation reassured me that I am capable of dealing with challenging situations. I finally saw myself as strong.
Why You Should Stay
You Matter
You are beautifully you. Whether you realise it or not – you are stronger than you think. And you were made for a unique purpose by a God who loves you unconditionally. You have unique gifts and attributes that this world needs. The world is a better place because you are in it!
It Gets Better
I know that at times it may seem like there is no escape. Particularly in my teenage years, I felt so powerless against everything I hated in my life. I didn’t have the resources to change anything. If you’re in a position that feels powerless, just know that it’s temporary. Don’t give up when the change could be just around the corner. Did things get better for me? Yes! I now know that being in love is worth waiting for. My fiance treats me with love, care and kindness every day, without any exceptions. I have found my passion and am able to feel inspired and useful doing what I enjoy doing most. I am part of a church family that is encouraging, has healthy boundaries and sets its core focus on the Bible. All these things took time to find, but I am so glad I stuck around and persevered to find them!
You Are Strong
If you are in the same boat that I used to be in where your mind is against you, just know that you have the power to change it. You get to control your mind, rather than have your mind control you. One resource I found very helpful was “Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyer. It will take time and work to change your thought patterns, but it’s worth investing your time and effort into it. After all, your mind is where you spend most of your time. Make it a beautiful place.
Final Thoughts
Life is beautiful. Life is worth living. You are beautiful and worthy of a good life! I hope this post helped you find reasons why you should stay. I hope you can get any help you may need and aren’t afraid to ask for it. We all need a little help sometimes. You are loved, you matter and you have a purpose.