‘When the Body Says No’ by Gabor Mate was a book I had to get as soon as I’d finished listening to Gabor Mate on the podcast The Diary of a CEO. His insight into both physical and mental health, with decades of experience, promised a fresh insight into how our bodies respond to stress.
Gabor Mate spent decades of his life treating people and talking to them while doing that. He heard their life stories, got to know them, and saw a pattern. However, the book is not just based on observations. It is based on multiple scientific pieces of research and insight from various professionals in the field.
When the Body Says No – My Thoughts
I thought this book was exceptional and it is definitely one of my top 5 books this year. I believe there is a perfect balance of scientific research (most of which went way over my head but could be interesting to my medic friends), and real-life stories. I’m all about people and their stories. The book showed the apparent effects that broken relationships, lack of boundaries and stress can have on one’s health. However, it wasn’t too heavy or depressing to read. Some of the patients described recovered and went on to live better lives after facing the real cause of their struggles.
When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress also gave great insights into topics such as negative thinking, the biology of belief, generational trauma and, my favourite, the 7 A’s of Healing. I hate spoilers and I don’t want to give too much away. Here is whom I’d recommend the book to – anyone interested in the relationships between emotional and physical health, the effects stress can have and all the other topics I mentioned above. It’s easy to read, relatable, and ends on a positive note. The final chapter is about how we can take charge of our own health.
‘When the Body Says No’ vs ‘The Body Keeps the Score’
I won’t go into much detail, but as similar as the topics sound, I found these two books quite different. Both authors base everything on scientific research and their own professional experience. However, Basel van der Kolk mostly focused on childhood trauma. This was mostly sexual abuse, and how the body responds to that. Whereas Gabor Mate chose specific ailments and analysed how our childhood, relationships, and emotional health can be the onset of those ailments.
My Favourite Quotes
If you want to read knowing nothing more than what I wrote above, go get yourself a copy! Meanwhile, here are some of my favourite quotes from the book:
“Why can’t parents see their children’s pain?”
“Because we haven’t seen our own.”
“No human being is “useless,” whether the helpless infant or the helpless ill or dying adult. The point is not to prove that dying people can be useful but to reject the spurious concept that people need to be useful in order to be valued.”
“Genuine positive thinking begins by including all our reality. It is guided by the confidence that we can trust ourselves to face the full truth, whatever that full truth may turn out to be.”
“When one lacks capacity to feel heat, the risk of being burned increases.” (This one is about being overly optimistic and denying reality).
“”The power of negative thinking” requires the removal of rose-coloured glasses. Not blame of others but owning responsibility for one’s relationships is the key.”
And there are many more that I wrote down and took photos of, but I think this is as much as I should share at this point. If you decide to read ‘When the Body Says No’ by Gabor Mate, let me know what you think once you’re finished!