The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate is the latest book by the acclaimed author and I’m here to give you my honest review. The Myth of Normal was written in collaboration with his son Daniel Mate. Gabor Mate is a renowned physician with over four decades of clinical experience. Some of the topics he’s previously covered include addiction, ADHD, and childhood trauma. While Gabor is an expert in those specific topics, he tackles multiple topics in The Myth of Normal in order to portray all the “normals” in our society that are anything but.
The Myth of Normal – What to Expect
The book is split into five parts, 33 chapters altogether. Topics covered include our need for connection in various stages of life, and human development, where Gabor Mate dives right to the start of it – how the environment can affect a pregnant woman and the fetus that is forming in that environment. He also touches on addiction and mental health issues in this book. If you want a more thorough look at it rather than just a glance, I’d recommend getting the books he wrote explicitly on those topics.
He later talks about the toxicity of our culture. A few of these topics are: the challenges people of different races face, the sexism that women have to endure and even what determines which side of politics we lean towards. The final part of the book is all about healing; the definition of it, practical exercises to do, and his hopes for a saner society.
Intriguing Things in The Myth of Normal
Gabor Mate on Jordan Peterson
One of the things I was most fascinated by was how Gabor Mate challenged Jordan Peterson’s views. Both of these men are widely respected for their views on trauma and what they’ve learnt about helping face it. However, there are some major disagreements when it comes to addressing anger, particularly when expressed by children. I won’t spoil it for you, but if that’s of interest to you, I’d recommend taking a look at it.
Various Interviews
I also enjoyed the vast range of interviews included in the book. Those included celebrities such as Jamie Lee Curtis and Russel Brand talking about their addictions, best-selling authors, medical specialists, as well as his own family. While Gabor Mate has written books about raising your children well and recognising their need for attachment, he doesn’t hide the kind of father he was to his children. His son Daniel, who co-wrote the book, wrote a paragraph in this book on what growing up in his family was like. While his wife Rae also shared several experiences throughout the book. Those include their relationships, her pregnancies and her experience of sexism throughout her life.
The Myth of Normal Review – My Overall Thoughts
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The book is full of research, personal experience, honest and vulnerable interviews, and compassion. If you expect him to cover all the previously mentioned topics in depth – this isn’t the book for you. Gabor Mate covers most of these topics somewhat briefly. However, with the title of the book being what it is, I think it perfectly encompasses the various aspects of life that we take as normal that haven’t always been that way. It isn’t normal that 70% of adults in the United States are on prescription drugs. Yet we look at it as if it is.
The Myth of Normal is hundreds of pages focusing on parts of society and our culture that are unhealthy. The good news is, the book ends with a focus on healing. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, there is hope. We may not be able to change society as a whole, but at least we can start with ourselves.
The Myth Of Normal by Gabor Mate Quotes
If you’d rather just read the book, skip this part. However, if you’d like to have a glimpse at what the book is like, here are some of my favourite quotes:
“Among the most poisonous consequences of shame is the loss of compassion for oneself. The more severe the trauma, the more total that loss.”
“We pass on to our offspring what we haven’t resolved in ourselves.”
“While we have a certain biological makeup, we are not genetically programmed to feel or believe or act in any particular manner.
Experience, therefore, is the decisive influence on how our biology manifests in our lives.”
“Healthy anger is a response of the moment, not a beast we keep in the basement, feeding it with shame or self-justifying narratives. It is situational, its duration limited: flashing up when needed, it accomplishes its task of fending off the threat and then subsides. It becomes neither an experience to fear and loathe nor a chronic irritant.”
“Healing flows when we are able to view this hurting world as a mirror for our own pain, and to allow others to see themselves reflected in us as well-recognition paving the way for reconnection.”
“Cure can never be guaranteed. Healing is another matter, and it is available until we draw our last breath. It is the movement toward experiencing oneself as a vital whole, whatever may be happening corporeally. Healing is not an endpoint: it is as much a process as disease is.”
“When self-judgments arise-as they inevitably do- we can stay curious about their origin without believing their content.”
If you enjoyed this review or would like to know more about what Gabor Mate has written, check out my review of When The Body Says No.