We’re created to seek connection, so the topic of the season of singleness – how to do it well can be one that people want to avoid. If you’re desperately trying to get out of this season, why would you want to know how to do it well? Here’s the reason why I think you should. The season of singleness and the preparation you do during it, will set you up for what’s to come. Sure, some things we can only learn about ourselves while in relationships. However, there are multiple things to invest in on your own.
What to Focus On While Single
1. Focus on Your Relationship with God
This may seem like a cliche to many Christians, but it’s true. Use the time you’re on your own to build habits that grow your relationship with God. Spend time reading the Bible, praying, and worshipping. When you find someone special to share your life with, you’ll know how to prioritise God and hear His voice. The Bible also speaks a lot about relationships, the expectations for husbands and wives, character traits to look out for and ones to desire. It also gives a clear definition of love. Once you’re dating, spotting what doesn’t align with the Bible will be easier if you know it well.
2. Invest in Your Friendships
As I’ve mentioned in my previous posts about recognising red flags, I find it crucial to have people around you to keep you accountable. And let’s be real. You’ll most likely go through heartbreak and rejection once you start dating. There’s nothing quite like the support of people who love you when you’re at your lowest. You need people who know you, who’ll remind you of your worth. People who will look out for your best interest. And when the time comes, you need to be willing to listen to their feedback.
3. Set Boundaries While You’re Single
This may seem like jumping ahead, but I think it’s really important. If you’re a Christian who wants to wait for marriage, you need to know where the line is. You need to know what you consider affectionate touch, and what already crosses the line to sexual. If you’re looking to abstain until marriage, then you should clearly avoid the latter. If you don’t consider these boundaries before you start dating, lines start getting blurred. When you’re spending alone time with someone you’re attracted to, the temptation is inevitable. Figure these out while you’re single to make it easier for yourself.
4. Consider Counselling
Some people say counselling isn’t for everyone, but I would disagree. Most of us carry childhood traumas, fear of rejection, and messed up views of romantic relationships because of what we saw growing up or even because of what we saw in movies. The season of singleness is the perfect time to address any issues you have that could affect the way you view yourself and relationships. You’ll be able to heal your old wounds, as well as make it easier for your future partner. It’s no easy task dating someone who’s triggered by the smallest of things.
5. Enjoy Your Freedom
Don’t wait around for someone to start doing things you’ve always wanted to. If you want to travel – step out of your comfort zone and travel alone. Or do a girls’/guys’ trip! It could be a great way to grow those friendships. You’re in a season where you only need to consider yourself before you make plans. Make the most of it! If you don’t have any hobbies, now could be your time to try different things and figure out what you’re passionate about.
Final Thoughts
There’s so much to the season of singleness – how to do it well. I think that getting close to God, knowing your boundaries, and investing in your friendships and yourself are the best things you can do at this time. I know that waiting can seem endless. I was single until I was almost 25 and it didn’t feel great. I wish someone had told me back then all the things I’ve just shared with you. While waiting may take patience and feel lonely at times, this season is what you make of it. And to all the ladies reading this, you don’t have to wait for a guy to ask you out. If you see someone you’re interested in, there’s nothing wrong with making the first move. I’m so glad that I did.