2022 for me has been all about learning to be patient in quiet seasons, to feel and process my emotions, and to be less passive and moving forward. This year has been fairly calm, but with that came a lot of waiting and uncertainty. In January, I finally left Amazon after around 5 years of working there on and off. Although it wasn’t my favourite place, it was a security blanket whenever I got impatient looking for work elsewhere. January drew a line there as Amazon changed their hiring policy. In a way, I was relieved. Sometimes you really need to lose that security to go out of your way and make things happen.
Between leaving Amazon and starting my internship, I had 5 months of time off. It helped that during month 3 I had a successful interview and knew the exact day I would be starting. It also helped that I had even more time to focus on my mental health and finished counselling in February. I also stepped out of my comfort zone and started dating again, which has brought so much joy into my life.
New Season
However, now the internship is over and I almost feel like I’m starting over again. I thought that last year I broke off the major chains holding me back, but I’m finding a lot of remainders that still require change. My two major goals for the next six months are to get a full-time job and to move out of my flat. A flat that has been an absolute bargain and got me through all the years of my being a student. But it’s time for a change.
I’m trying to figure out if that need for change that is yet to come is what’s bringing me down emotionally. I do my best to try and reflect on what’s affecting my mood when I feel low. More times than not it used to be loneliness. But I know for a fact that I’m not lonely now. I think it’s reminders of my painful past staring me in the face every single day. And while certain objects are only that – objects, they do carry really heavy, painful memories.
I know this is a different post than usual, but I would appreciate prayers for a new job and a new flat. I know I’m in that new season that God promised me. I’m just so ready to step into it fully. It’s time to really start moving forward.
Though it can be terrifying jumping into something new (especially something God is giving to you) I know that through God it will all be worth it, and it will be what it needs to be <3 hold onto your spirit and let God guide you, thank you for your amazing post.
Thank you for your kind comment! Definitely trusting God in this new season and trying to stay patient waiting for everything to fall into place ☺️